Emotional threads

Through the various chapters of my life, I have been full of questions, wonder, fear, confusion, disconnection, surrender, breaking down, breaking open, reconnection. Oh, there she is… this glimmer of my heart knowing, my innocence, my power, my sensitive ways, my strength my soul essence.

I continue to meet new parts of myself, that is… new to me and yet she, my essence, my soul (Ellie) is ancient, wise, a force to be reckoned with. I am interweaving my relationship with my soul self with my humanness of me.  Some days I feel like I am in a flowy dance and others if feel more of an endurance marathon, trying to keep up with my inner truth, trying to embody it all…

And yet, I am reminded to slow down, let my process be my own unique journey home. To do my best to let go of self-judgment. To choose self-awareness even when I am feeling avoidant and sometimes like a toddler just wanting to throw a tantrum. In these moments, I remind myself that I am ok, these feelings are ok, be with them, acknowledge my feelings, let them move through and out.

“Manage your reaction but do not suppress your emotions”- YUNG PUEBLO

Integral pathways within full of unknown directions, sometimes I ask myself, “where to even begin?” …and then I choose to let go of my controlling ways from what I think is right or wrong. Often, I am called to walk in nature, or I sit and write, I get quite… these are all supportive modalities that I utilize to not let my emotions overwhelm and so I don’t shut down. Once I feel that I have space and capacity, I choose and follow the textural threads, sometimes I am met with knots, a.k.a “pain points” which I believe are meant to be felt, expressed, witnessed.  Moving my way through my discomfort with allowance for patients and breath has brought me to depths of self-forgiveness, self-accountability, and self-reliance.

More to come … Until then, be well.

With love and light,

Stacey