Shame can quietly shape the way we remember our past, especially the chapters that feel complicated, misunderstood, or hard to explain. In this personal reflection, I share how I began releasing shame tied to my early modeling career, honoring my younger self, and reclaiming self-worth through honesty, compassion, and self-acceptance.

I have felt a ashamed about this career chapter of my life… just two days ago I shared my shame with my mom, she was shocked and said she had no idea. My Mom didn’t know as I never was fully transparent about my feelings with anyone, including myself.

Through the various chapters of my life, I have been full of questions, wonder, fear, confusion, disconnection, surrender, breaking down, breaking open, reconnection. Oh, there she is… this glimmer of my heart knowing, my innocence, my power, my sensitive ways, my strength my soul essence.

I continue to meet new parts of myself, that is… new to me and yet she, my essence, my soul (Ellie) is ancient, wise, a force to be reckoned with. I am interweaving my relationship with my soul self with my humanness of me.

I am and always have been a sensitive and emotional child, adolescent, and adult. When I was younger I sensed my emotions to be a lot for others, not so much myself as I didn’t know any difference.