Hormonal Shifts: My Perimenopause Journey at 44

Self-WorthwellnesswellbeingSelf-Awarenesscommunity
Written By Stacey Barnes

A personal reflection on perimenopause, women’s health, and navigating hormonal change with greater awareness, support, and self-compassion

I turned 44 this July and have found myself arriving at a new chapter of womanhood… hello, perimenopause!

My desire to write and share my words around this often-taboo subject is simple: to acknowledge perimenopause and menopause with more openness, less shame, and deeper support. This transition is not something women should feel they have to navigate alone.

I am deeply grateful to have a close circle of inspiring women in my life, many of whom are 5 to 10 years wiser than I am. Within this sacred group, there is transparent and supportive communication around life’s peaks and valleys, including health, well-being, and yes, hormonal shifts.

Witnessing My Mom’s Menopause Journey

I also had the experience of witnessing my mom go through menopause. At the time, I was in my late twenties and my mom was in her fifties. We were business partners in our beloved sweet business, Goodytwos Toffee Company, working together 6 and sometimes 7 days a week, so not much went unnoticed between us personally.

As time passed, I noticed a dramatic shift in my mom’s personality, mental clarity, energy, and overall well-being. She seemed less like herself. I could also see she was dealing with hot flashes and other changes, though at the time I knew very little about menopause and how it could affect a woman so deeply.

My mom and I are close not only as mother and daughter, but in a deeply loving friendship. I remember feeling nervous to bring it up, but I also knew I needed to check in with her.

One day while we were working in the back of our retail shop, I gently said, “Mom, I think something is going on with you.”

She seemed taken aback and replied, “I am fine.”

So I let it go.

A few weeks later, I brought it up again and said, “Mom, something is off. Please go to the doctor.”

That day, she heard me. She scheduled an appointment with her naturopath, had bloodwork done, and finally received clarity: she was officially in menopause.

What My Mom’s Experience Taught Me

It is important to mention that my mom had a hysterectomy at 49 due to fibroid tumors. Her ovaries were left intact, but because she no longer had a menstrual cycle, the onset of menopause felt more obscure.

In her own words:

“Due to the hysterectomy, I had no idea when I officially started menopause other than I thought I was losing my mind.”

Her naturopath recommended bioidentical hormone replacement therapy to help ease her symptoms. This was about 14 years ago.

Once she began HRT, the change was profound. It was as if a light switch had been turned back on. My mom returned to herself, vibrant, sharp, motivated, present, creative, empowered, and loving. Her hot flashes dramatically improved, and one of the biggest victories for her was that her migraines disappeared.

Before starting HRT, she had been dealing with debilitating migraines and occasional heart palpitations for years. At the time, neither of us knew these could also be symptoms connected to perimenopause and menopause.

Looking back, witnessing her experience made me realize how unknown this transition has been for so many women—and how it should not have to feel like something that hits us like a freight train.

Why I’m Sharing This Now

For many women, menopause was not openly discussed—especially years ago. I remember noticing that some of my friends’ mothers did not talk about their own experience with it at all.

Thankfully, I feel that more has opened over the years. There is now a growing willingness among women to speak honestly about health, emotional well-being, relational changes, aging, and hormonal shifts.

And this matters.

Because as women, we listen.
We learn.
We share.
We come together.

That is part of what I hope to contribute by writing this.

What I’m Noticing in My Own Body at 44

Through both what I witnessed in my mom and what I am currently experiencing, I am doing my best to stay aware of the shifts within myself—to pay attention and to not dismiss what feels different.

For me, my symptoms are not extreme, but I can absolutely feel change.

I have noticed:

  • shifts in mental sharpness

  • increased hair shedding

  • more sensation in my joints

  • emotional waves that feel more intense than before

I am already a deeply emotional and sensitive person, and through therapy I have learned how to ride the waves of my emotions and regulate myself. But over the last six months, some of the tools that have always helped me have not seemed to move the needle in the same way.

At times, what once felt like an emotional wave now feels more like an emotional tsunami.

That awareness is what led me to take the next step.

Choosing Support and Proactivity

I am proud to say that I have scheduled my first perimenopause assessment with my doctor at Tia, a women’s health clinic.

Happy 44th birthday to me.

That may sound simple, but for me it feels empowering. It feels like choosing awareness over avoidance. Support over silence.

I have also been educating myself through powerful podcast conversations and resources, especially from Dr. Mary Claire Haver, a board-certified OB-GYN and Certified Menopause Practitioner. These resources have helped give me language, courage, and a stronger sense of proactivity as I step into this season.

I am beginning to implement supportive changes, including:

  • resistance training to help stay strong and support bone health

  • increasing my protein intake

  • learning more about hormone replacement therapy

  • exploring additional supplementation with professional guidance

These are not fear-based decisions. They are grounded choices rooted in care, education, and a desire to age with strength and grace.

Definitions for Hormonal Shifts

Below are simple definitions that may be helpful if you are also beginning to explore this season of life:

Perimenopause
This phase usually begins several years before menopause, when the ovaries gradually begin producing less estrogen. Perimenopause lasts until menopause, when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. In the final 1 to 2 years of this stage, estrogen levels can decline more rapidly, and many women begin noticing symptoms.

Menopause
Menopause is reached when it has been one full year since a woman’s last menstrual period. At this stage, the ovaries have stopped releasing eggs and produce much less estrogen.

Postmenopause
Postmenopause refers to the years after menopause. While symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats may lessen over time, certain health risks associated with lower estrogen levels may increase with age.

These definitions are adapted from educational medical resources and shared here for general understanding.

Resources for Learning and Support

These are some of the resources that have helped me feel more informed, supported, and proactive:

Podcasts

Books

Community

Instagram / Educational Conversations

  • Conversation with a gynecologist, endocrinologist, and urologist | Click Here

Questions for Reflection

  • Why is it important to talk openly about perimenopause and menopause?
    Because openness removes shame and isolation. The more women share their experiences, the more supported, informed, and empowered we can all become.

  • Can emotional changes be part of perimenopause?
    Yes. Emotional intensity, mood shifts, and changes in mental clarity can be part of the hormonal changes some women experience during perimenopause.

  • What can supportive next steps look like?
    Supportive next steps may include speaking with a trusted doctor, tracking symptoms, learning from reliable resources, strengthening the body through movement and nutrition, and staying connected to community.

  • What if I’m not sure whether what I’m experiencing is hormonal?
    That uncertainty is exactly why it can be helpful to pay attention, stay curious, and seek professional guidance rather than dismissing what your body may be trying to communicate.

To any woman reading this who is noticing shifts within herself, whether subtle or significant…I want to say this clearly: you are not alone, and you are not meant to navigate this chapter in silence.

There is nothing shameful about hormonal change. There is wisdom in paying attention. There is strength in asking questions. And there is power in choosing support.

Thank you for being here, for reading, and for allowing space for this conversation. My hope is that these words offer even a small spark of validation, encouragement, or curiosity as you continue honoring your own body and your own season of becoming.

With love and light,
Stacey







Stacey Barnes https://www.onwordjourneys.com
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